According to About.com in this article, if you spend more than three hours a week chatting with or exchanging personal information with a member of the opposite sex through the internet, you are having an online affair.

Now, the actual time may vary but the danger is still there. The reason online affairs have destroyed so many marriages is because they start so subtly. It begins with a little sharing personal things or relationship issues with someone. Before you know it, you are emotionally invested in a relationship with someone, and you may even begin to resent your spouse or believe that this person understands or can meet your needs even better than your mate.

Many of these affairs often end with meetings and relationships in real life, but even if they don’t, they still result in untold amounts of damage to the marriage.

If you believe you are too attached or too invested with a member of the opposite sex online, the above article also lists some great ways to detach and restore the sanctimony of your marriage.

The article lists several tips:

Tips:

1. Get rid of denial. Be honest with yourself and what you are doing. Being honest about your behavior is the only way to determine if what you are doing is worth the pain it will cause your spouse and family.
2. If you decide to end the online affair expect to be emotionally uncomfortable. You’ve formed a bond with another human being. Breaking that bond is going to take will-power.
3. Spend less time online and more time doing things that will impact your life positively. Exchange your negative behavior for one that will enrich your marriage and family.
4. If you find it impossible to break off the affair get help. You don’t have to do it alone. See a therapist or talk to trusted friend. Share what you are going through with someone willing to help you handle the negative emotions you are feeling.

If you have found yourself energized by the ease of shopping online, only to be depressed later, or craving buying things that you don’t need or even end up using, you may have a problem. Psychologists classify shopping addiction in the same category as eating disorders and drinking problems.

This is a great article from PsychCentral on how a shopping addiction can negatively affect you and your family’s life. With the ease and security of shopping online, many more people have fallen into debt or financial burden.

Take these steps now to overcome your online shopping addiction before you get even deeper in debt.

1) Stop using all credit cards.

Juggling your debt from one card to another is no way to live. Stop immediately and only buy what you have the money to pay for.

2) Only purchase what you immediately need.

Do not purchase something just because “it’s a good price”, or “you might need it later”. Only buy what you absolutely need right now.

3) Be honest and open about your problem.

A lot of the burden will be lifted from your shoulders just by being honest with those around you. If your family is not aware of the debt you have created for them, you need to confess this to them now rather than later. It will be difficult at first, but getting the support from your family will be the best thing to help you through this.

4) Don’t visit online shopping sites.

Ebay, Amazon, and other similar sites are simple and easy, but it can get out of hand fast. Stick to purchasing only things you really need at real world locations.

5) Make a budget.

Sit down with an accountant or your family and create a plan for getting yourself out of debt and determine how much you will have available each month to spend. Focus on your family’s immediate needs such as rent, bills, and food, as well as making payments to erase the money you owe.

6) Set financial goals for yourself and your family.

Once you have a budget in place and are taking the steps to financially balance your life, talk with your family about things that you do want to do or would like to have that you do not have the money for immediately. Instead of buying this now, start setting money aside each month so that you can go on that vacation or purchase that new item together. In the end you will have gained what you wanted, but you will have done it without debt, and taught your family the importance of financial management.

The curiosity and innocence of children, combined with the power and anonymity of the Internet - a dangerous combination.

As adults in a generation where children often educate us about what new technology can do, it is easy to remain in ignorance and allow your kids to roam the internet freely. Because really, your child can’t get into TOO much trouble online… right?

Would you let your child stroll into a dance club at midnight to meet all sorts of “interesting people”? Probably not. Yet, the dangers of interacting with strangers online can be just as dangerous.

At least, that’s what the police in Virginia think. According to this article, police are being trained to patrol websites such as MySpace and Facebook. Trading in their car keys for keyboards, the officers hope to stop online sexual predators and educate parents about the dangers of the internet.

What’s the need for police involvement? A better question would be, if the police are taking steps to prevent danger to kids using the internet, what steps have YOU taken?

In one example, an officer communicates anonymously with a child over a popular teen networking site called MySpace. The child freely gives him more than enough information for the officer posing as a complete stranger to locate his home in real life. The officer then went to the childs home and spoke with the parents. The local news article quoted, “Imagine if he had been a pedophile, instead of a police officer.”

Although this is scary, I would not recommend cutting the phone-lines and boxing up the computer just yet. There are some ways that you can help your child understand the potential dangers of the Internet.

For starters, the previously mentioned article had several tips:

-Keep the computer in a common area like the kitchen or family room. That way you can keep an eye on what your children are doing online.

- Use the Internet with your children. Learn about new technology so you can keep up.

- Talk to your children about online habits. If they use social networking sites, tell them why it’s essential to keep personal information — like name, address, Social Security number and others — to themselves. Remind them not to share that information about others either.

- Teach them to be cautious about sharing other information, like the name of their school, sports teams, clubs, where they work or hang out or other information that someone can use to identify them offline.

- Make sure your child’s screen name doesn’t say too much about them. Explain why it is dangerous to use their full name, age or hometown.

- Use privacy settings to control who can access and post to your child’s Web site. You may approve of friends from school, clubs, or community groups, but not strangers.

- Children should only post information that you and they are comfortable with others seeing and knowing.

- Remind your children that once they post information online, it’s there forever. Even if they delete information from a site, older versions exist on other computers.

- Teach your child to trust their instincts. If they feel threatened or uncomfortable by something online, they need to tell you. Then report the incident to the police or the social networking site to prevent someone else from being victimized.

- If you are concerned about your child’s online behavior, search the blog sites they visit to see what they are posting. Search by their name, nickname, school, hobbies, grade or area where you live.

All of these tips are great advice for any parent. I would especially focus on communicating with your child. A good rule of thumb is to tell your child not to post anything to the internet that they wouldn’t want the entire world to see… forever! It is easy to feel safe in the comfort in your own home, yet there are real dangers to be aware of. Stay safe!

One of the dangers of the internet today is that it is just so easy to find what you need. Everything is just a click away, and within a matter of days it can arrive at your front door. You might find that exact item at 2:00 A.M. and you didn’t even need to leave your home! How easy is that?

This can be a great convenience, but very quickly you may find yourself with a dwindling bank account, or even worse, rising debt.

Here are some ways to know if maybe you are a little too attached to the markets of cyberspace.

1. When you are upset or in a bad mood, you can calm down by going shopping.
2. Shortly after making an online purchase, you feel content and happy, but this feeling fades after a while, and is replaced with regret.
3. You feel as if you might “miss out” on a great deal too good to pass by if you are not online looking for it.
4. You wonder what happened to the money in your bank account or how your last paycheck was spent so quickly.
5. You are spending more money each month on rent, bills, food costs, and shopping expenses than you make.

Addiction to the ease of shopping online can lead to debt. Try and recognize the problem before it starts and take preventative measures to put your inner shopping addict in check.

MSNBC posted a great article about how to resist the urge to spend your hard earned money so easily. Even if you don’t think you are addicted (yet), a few of these preventative measures now may help keep you from financial burden later!

Ahh, technology. With all the innovations and inventions we have seen in the past few decades, many things are possible that were once only a pipedream. However, that is not to say that our life has actually become easier.

The greatest side-effect of being in neck deep in the information age is that sometimes the solutions bring problems of their own.

Take the internet for example. In previous articles, I have discussed how it can be dangerous to your families safety, causing addictions, and hurting the relationship between your child and their future spouse.

With the introduction of the internet into businesses, many an executive asked, “but what effect will this have on the bottom line?”.

Indeed, the internet has had an effect. Thousands of new businesses have sprung into existence to take advantage of it. Many old and traditional businesses have had new life breathed into them.

Yet, at what point does this portal of communication start to hurt your business? Many business owners would attest that the internet has most significantly impacted their employees productivity negatively.

According to salary.com in this article, the average employee wastes about 20% of their day on the internet!

This article from CNN Money says companies lose $759 billion a year from paying for employee’s wasted time. 10,000 workers reported wasting on average, over 2 hours a day!

Even the most employee-friendly managers would agree that this percentage is overly wasteful. If you are wondering what the internet is costing your company, do the math yourself. If your company has just 20 employees that work 8 hours a day, you are paying for 10,000 wasted hours a year!

So, what do you do to manage your time and avoid the waste? 

Like grandma always used to say, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” This is never truer than when it comes to keeping yourself pure.

If you succumb to the temptation to gamble online, go on a shopping spree, look at online pornography, or have an online affair, it is possible to recover after slipping into these things. However, even if you do and manage to gain the forgiveness of yourself and those around you, there are negative effects that you have to live with. You still may be in debt, have sexual images burned into your mind, and have violated the trust between you and your spouse.

Being accountable is a great way to gain your “ounce of prevention”. Part of the enticement about things that tempt you is the fact that it is a secret itself. By holding yourself accountable to outside standards, you can bring these temptations into the light, and expose them.

One of the major reasons that programs like Alcoholics Anonymous have such a high success rate is that they are founded on a major principle of being accountable to a “sponsor”. Even popular diet and exercise groups pair up members with other accountability partners.

The temptation itself may never go away completely, but it is much easier to resist it when you know that someone that you respect will later find out.

Here are a few examples of how to keep your self accountable:

 Start with your spouse.

Make sure your spouse has access to your internet history, bank statements, and chat logs. Ensure that they receive them and review them on a routine basis.

Find a sponsor.

This can be in the form of someone from a church group, a trusted relative, or just a close friend. Request that the individual hold you accountable by asking how you are doing with avoiding problem areas at least once a week.

 Communicate your successes with an accountability partner.

It is just important to tell someone of when you have succeeded in resisting as it is for when you fail. Gaining encouragement in times of doing well is vital in continuing that success.

Become a sponsor.

 It is one thing to just report to someone else, but if you can become an accountability partner with that same person, then you will both sharpen each other.

Don’t keep your temptations a secret! Become accountable to yourself and others: it works.

Second Life. The online world where you can design your own castles to live in, fly through the skies on jetpacks, or just casually roam through the world of other user-created content. With unlimited potential, why is the Second Life world devoted purely to sex?

According to this article, 51% of the popular locations in Second Life are purely devoted to pornography and online sex. It is so much of a problem that you can find people having sex in public, even among the “Welcome Areas” where people who are brand new to the game enter.

As far as game ratings go, Second Life’s rating is “E” for everyone. This comes also at a surprise when users will be constantly solicited for sex, or even worse, engaged in public sex without permission!

So, in a world where any desire can be acted out, and with zero accountability, how do you remain pure?

1. Don’t travel or teleport into pornagraphic areas.

Second Life’s world map is very uninformative at times. It routinely mixes adult themed areas with normal ones open to anyone. If you are traveling to a new area, look before you leap. Ask around about the location of interest, and first deem if it is appropriate or not.

2. Advertise your Family.

Though 51% (or more) of Second Life users are there for sex, most users will be respectful of your wishes. When you tell people that you are devoted to your family in your First Life, many users will honor that. Online admins are available, and if someone abuses your rights- report them.

3. Don’t teleport with people you don’t trust.

In Second Life, users have the ability to teleport others (with their consent) to other areas and worlds. This can be helpful to travel to places quickly, especially when you do not know where you are going. However, users can instantly transport you into the middle of Adult areas as well. Would you get in a car with a complete stranger that approaches you and says “Hey lets go for a ride!”. Probably not. Though no physical harm can come to you in your Second Life, it’s easy to stumble into areas that threaten your integrity.

4. Remain Anonymous

Second Life requires that all adult areas be “flagged”. Only accounts that have been age verified above 18 are allowed to enter them. If you are worried about stumbling upon inappropriate areas, simply do not verify your age and your account will be unable to access adult-themed areas. (If you stumble upon an area that has not been “flagged”- report it!

There are a lot of great possibilities within Second Life. An unhindered world for creativity and artistic expression knows no bounds. Just make sure that your Second Life never interferes with your First Life!

The Chicago Sun Times recently published an article titled “Hooked on the Web” about the dangers of online addiction.

Many people have recognized their problems with online addictions and are seeking help.

The Center for Internet Addiction Recovery is a great resource for anyone battling an online addiction.  Dr. Kimberly Young is the director of the online center, and devised an Internet Addiction Test with questions like these:

How often do others in your life complain to you about the amount of time you spend online?

How often do your grades or school work suffer because of the amount of time you spend online?

How often do you check your e-mail before something else that you need to do?

How often does your job performance or productivity suffer because of the Internet?

How often do you become defensive or secretive when anyone asks you what you do online?

How often do you choose to spend more time online over going out with others?

According to the American Psychological Association, internet addiction is not officially classified as a mental illness.  However, it falls under the category of an impulse control disorder, which is often covered by insurance.

Addictions are a form of slavery.  If you struggle with an online addiction, get help so that you can live a free and fulfilling life.

In the old days, it was easy to protect your children from the darker influences of the world by monitoring what kind of movies, books and music were being brought into your house.

Today, it’s not so easy. Not only is it exceptionally easy for your child to access content that you would probably deem inappropriate for them, it is just as easy for them to access content that would absolutely horrify you.

Internet sites do not distinguish who the user is, so there is no way for a site to know that it is showing a 12 year old pornography, or user-made videos showing violent beatings, murders, or even suicides.

These images have a great impact on the developing mind of children and teenagers.

The National Institute of Health (NIH) has been studying the effects of pornography for years. Psychologists have found that porn has very negative long term effects.

In this article, clinical psychologist Paul Schenck said,

“It [Pornography] has the potential for teenagers to really mess up what their attitudes are about sexuality and really mess up relationships,”

In a recent study, the NIH determined that not only does pornography and graphic images damage a child’s attitude and expectations for sex, it encourages them to participate in what they see.

If you want more information about the negative effects that pornography can have on your children, the website www.protectkids.com is a great resource. It is also full of information for how you can protect your children while they are online.

Guard the hearts and minds of your child. They, (and their future spouse) will thank you later!

Law enforcement groups agree that the problem of online predators is only going to get worse- not better.

Children are taught how to use computers and the internet earlier every year. Unfortunately, the risk that a predator can target your child without your knowledge is increasingly likely. Even worse, your child might unknowingly seek these predators as ‘friends’ in online communities.

This article from The Iowa Journal describes some of the ways of how to keep kids away from online predators. Even more interesting is its description of why your child actively lookfor a predator without even knowing it.

School children were asked the following:

“Why do you go online and talk to a perfect stranger about things you wouldn’t talk about with Mom and Dad or your schoolmates?”

The children replied that they wanted to talk about issues that they were too afraid to talk about with their parents - personal problems or curiosity about taboo subjects.

The likely-hood of your child finding a responsible, mature person with good advice is next to nothing. In actuality, online predators admit through interviews that they position themselves in the places where children will find them and open up to them. In places like MySpace or Facebook- or the average chat room - predators can lurk, waiting to “help” your child.

Your child may feel safe about talking with someone your child believes they will never meet. However, the online predator is already manipulating your child, and building a relationship with them in order to meet them in real life.

Talk with your children. Make sure they feel comfortable talking with you about difficult issues. Let them know that they can discus feelings or problems with you without judgment or angry comments. Then listen. Better they talk with you than someone else.